Former U.S. First Lady Michelle Obama has urged women to be cautious about moving in with a partner early in a relationship, highlighting the importance of patience and observation.
Speaking on The TMZ Podcast, Obama said cohabiting in the early stages of a relationship can complicate matters before couples truly understand one another.
“If it’s early on in the relationship, you should not be moving in,” she said. “First of all, I don’t care how much money he had or does not have.”
Obama explained that financial comfort should not be the deciding factor for living together, noting that emotional readiness and compatibility are far more important.
“Even if he has a great job or looks perfect on paper, you simply don’t know him well enough in the first months,” Michelle explained.
She pointed out that strong physical attraction can be misleading. “Lust at first sight is real, but love develops over time. You need to see how he handles life’s challenges before committing.”
Michelle also emphasised the benefits of waiting to move in together. “There are many situations and tests in a relationship that reveal compatibility. Moving in too early can backfire. It’s better to let the relationship mature naturally.”
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She emphasised that relationships go through different phases and challenges, and couples need to experience those “tests” before making long-term commitments such as sharing a home.
“There are so many tests you need in a relationship,” Obama stated, adding that rushing the process can lead to regrets.
Her advice to young couples was clear and direct: “My recommendation is always; take your time. Make moving in always way down the line.”
According to her, relationships require more than feelings of love in the beginning.
“It might be controversial but I think you have to have a deep ‘likeness’, not love, for someone,” she said.
“Because it takes time to fully know how someone reveals themselves to you over time — to know whether your affections or feelings stand the test of time.”
Michelle’s words reinforce the idea that understanding a partner’s personality, habits, and values is essential before sharing a home.
By giving couples time to learn about each other, she suggests relationships are more likely to be stable and fulfilling, rather than being rushed by convenience or external pressures.